Charlie's Worldposh night out (with speeding fines)
Posted on September 12, 2010
So, in keeping with my status as a ‘Posh Pom’, Jay and I went to the ballet last night.
Yes, ballet.
Lar dee dar.
The West Australian Ballet (http://www.waballet.com.au/) was doing a production of ‘Sleeping Beauty’ at the Burswood Theatre, which is in a giant (and mostly horrible) ‘Entertainment Complex” just outside Perth and Jay had been nagging asking me if we could go to something like that for a while. I got some good seats and off we went.
Perth is an hour’s drive from the little seaside town where we live but we had plenty of time so just pottered up there. Pottered that is until 500 meters before the entrance to Burswood where the signs were a little confusing and as the road widened into a 6 lane junction, I looked around for some clear idea of where we had to go.
*flash*
speed camera.
fuck, I took my eyes off the damn speedo for like 5 seconds to look where I was going (having driven up the whole way very diligently at the 60kph limit) and I speeded up slightly without realising and now I’ve almost certainly lost my licence for 3 months and copped a huge fine.
The fines and demerits for speeding in Oz have recently increased to stupid amounts and what with a careless ticket 18 months ago where I didn’t spot a limit change (I was caught 10 meters past the sign doing bang on the previous speed limit – meh!) – I now face a mandatory ban.
I’m really annoyed about it because I actually do stick to the speed limits and drive considerately all the time. A couple of tiny mistakes and boom, I’m screwed. Compared to the burnout tyre screaming idiots that live round here and never seem to get caught, I’m like a perfect driver – and yet its me and not them that gets caught.
So yeah, not happy at all. Fuck the stupid cameras – I have no respect for them, they are catching people like me who do drive responsibly 99% of the time and not V8 driving arses who don’t.
So, onto the ballet.
What a strange collection of people Perth’s ballet fan-base has.
We saw 12 year olds tottering in huge high heels, a woman wearing a massive black cape with a gold lining, another woman in a 1980’s Laura Ashley floral dress, a teenage girl in a really tiny short white skater-like prom dress, an unfortunate ginger haired kid in a pink sparkle party frock with white tights, a woman in black with white high heels and a woman in a white lace dress with huge shoulder pads.
Classy.
The ballet was amazing. The Burswood Theatre is a very good venue – lots of space and the seating gives a clear view of the stage. The set was awesome, so detailed and beautifully painted, setting off the costumes, which were stunning. The graceful dancers, wonderful music and perfect timing made for a very good all round experience. The somewhat tight male tights were a bit, erm, anatomically revealing in the buttock department – not something that I really needed to see, but there’s no doubting how strong they are – leaping high around the stage with seemingly gravity defying ease. The lead girls were incredibly graceful and so strong too, holding tortuous poses en pointe. The supporting dancers were very good – all in perfect time to the lead dancers – even the small children, who were very sweet. The set design was incredible and all the set changes were executed perfectly. A stunning performance, worthy much more exalted ballet companies.
So a fabulous night, well worth going, even if you’re not a classical dance fan, you can’t fail to be impressed with the detail and ability that goes into making something like that work for 2 1/2 hours of solid dancing.
Thank you, West Australian Ballet, you were awesome!
freak magnet
Posted on September 11, 2010
Mostly, being average looking, average height and average build, I don’t attract any attention wherever I go. This comes in handy when I want to take photographs, particularly in the street where people are sometimes suspicious of that kind of thing.
Recently though, I have been toting my Hasselblad medium format film camera about the place and as it’s pretty unusual looking (compared to modern point and shoots or SLR’s), people tend to notice more. Mostly, I get good comments – people stopping me and going ‘wow, what the hell is that?’ or ‘OMG, I haven’t seen one of those for 30 years’ or some such – and that’s really cool – I love chatting to interested people, and one of these days, I’ll grow a pair and ask them if I can take their photo too.
But recently, someone seems to have stuck a big freak magnet on my back. Everywhere I go I seem to attract the kind of attention that Tom Cruise and Lady Gaga can only dream about.
An example of this – I was in Perth with a few friends last week, trying to take some photos when a frail old lady came up to me and got right in my face and started having a go at me about taking photos in public and how I had to put the camera away right now. I smiled sweetly and told her nicely that as I was in a public place and that I could take photos if I wanted to. She stared the finger waggling at this point and I’m sure I caught the smell of cats on the breeze as she muttered something about metal in her neck, knowing her rights and how it all started in Belgium (no, really, that’s what she said)
I simply pointed to a police car parked a little way up the street and suggested that if she had a problem she should talk to them about it. She waggled her bony witch finger a few more times, said ‘I will’ and walked away in the other direction away from the police car.
I’m sure I saw a pair of green eyes peering from the crack in the top of her pull along shopping basket.
Then, not 2 minutes later, a happy Aboriginal fellow came bowling down the street, took one look at the camera and ‘posed’ for me – getting in my face and pulling a huge toothless gurn with his arms held up high. If it hadn’t have been so dark, I would have taken his photo, but I was a bit taken aback! He was harmless enough, but still..did I happen to step into Freakatopia without realising?
On the train home wasn’t much better – there was a denim clad 80’s reject of a drunken man in the seat in front loudly yacking on his phone for the whole journey. He tried to call his mate and do a prank call, but was too drunk and stumbled over his words and it ended up being what was possibly the worst crank call ever in the history of ever. He should probably be the poster child for the Government’s anti drinking campaigns.
‘drink too much and you’ll look like this sad sack of shit’
I think I have a bright future in marketing and advertising.
Anyway, enough of picking on people, its time for me to pick on the dog.
The little cowbag was barking madly at 6:30am this morning, causing me to get up and spray her with the ‘stop fucking barking you stupid dog’ water spray bottle. She stopped. Well, for a while anyway.
Trouble is, once I’m up, I can never get back to sleep, so thanks for that, pooch, I really wanted to be wide awake before 7am on Saturday. I’m gonna wake you up at 11pm tonight when you’re all slumpy and take you for a long walk and see how you like it.
Meh!
update
Posted on September 9, 2010
Well, whats been happening in the world of me?
My trip to England went well – the flight over was actually pretty painless, despite being sat next to a borderline Neanderthal on the plane from Perth to Singapore – he was laughing out loud to stuff on the entertainment system. I mean really out loud. Not good. When I asked him something, he spoke like he had experienced a very bad head injury – I don’t think he had though, he was just very odd.
Anyway – Singapore Airlines – 5 stars from me – good food, good aeroplanes and excellent service. Managed to sleep almost all the way to London too.
Went to collect my kids via my old local supermarket – I needed to buy jeans as for some reason, jeans in Australia are only available in one length to cater for all – so the legs are always 6foot too long, meaning I have to pay to have them taken up too. Its maddening. 2 pairs of jeans and some stripy coloured socks later (you can’t buy coloured socks here either) and I was at my kids front door. Its always so good to see them, they end up doing a little dance and their smiles blow away the travel fatigue in seconds.
We drove back to my parents house – was good to see them too – last time was when they were here for our wedding.
We had a nice week – the weather in England was shit though – what the hell happened to warm summers that I remember from when I was young? It barely made it to 20C all week and rained loads 😦 We did still get out to the park, take a trip to London to go the Natural History Museum (never go in the summer holidays – it was packed full of rude johnny foreigners who have never heard of waiting their turn) and spent a load of time with my family.
It was horrible to have to leave them again, but they were ok and missed their mum. I stopped off at Hotel Chocolat to get some goodies before flying home again.
miraculously, I didn’t get sick this time! I have a load of photos on film which are at the lab for developing right now – hopefully they’ll come back soon – I want to see how the Hasselblad did with taking photos of moving children 🙂
slack city, Arizona
Posted on August 19, 2010
I know, my blog is getting a little dusty. I have an excuse, I’ve been busy with all kinds of things. So there.
I’m flying back to England tomorrow so I can see my babies – its been nearly 5 months since I last saw them – time really flies and it doesn’t seem that long ago in some ways, but in other ways, it seems like forever. Whatever, I can’t wait.
So, this time, thanks to the somewhat threadbare nature of the Malaysian Airlines planes and the horrifying ‘no seat on the flight to London even though you’ve paid thousands of dollars for it’ moment at Christmas, I am flying Singapore airlines. They have iPod chargers on the seat backs and power for laptops and everything. Not that I’ll really be using them, I’m working like a dawg right up until I have to scoot off to the airport, having done a couple of 12/14 hour work days and I’ll probably be zonked out like a stoned monkey. Or some such thing.
I’m also only taking my Hasselblad film camera when I go back – no shiny digital for me this time. I want to capture something a little different image wise and really want the challenge. Wish me luck, if I stuff up, I’ll have no photos!
Also, I fly out the day before the elections here in Oz. I’ll be coming back to an new Government, one smiling gloating self satisfied party having got into power using weasel words and empty promises that somehow disappear into the ether the moment their grubby little self serving hands are on the controls. Wont that be fun. Can we get a load of new candidates please, the ones we have are generally shit. I think we can do better without all the moral guidance that Australian political parties think we all need.
So, at the weekend – tales from Blighty, part one – Biggles says a big hello to his good chums Badger and Tinker, has a pint in the Crown before showing Harry Hun what for over the Channel, making it home in time for an over or two with the village cricket team. I say, old boy, spiffing stuff, whatwhat.
Tally ho!
Red Wine Wednesday
Posted on August 11, 2010
Hooooo yes folks, its Wednesday already, so its time to take a bottle of plonk from the wine cellars at Watkins Manor and educate the vino Luddites of the world.
Todays wine: Pinot Noir
A good Pinot is a delight. Its a soft and relatively light red wine, full of light juicy blackcurrenty and cherry type flavours. It is very flavoursome without being heavy, having a velvety smoothness to it. It doesn’t have that rich dark oaky head and tannin depth to it that a Rioja or Merlot might have. Its a great wine to drink on its own or with light food.
This Wolf Blass specimen is a pretty good one. Nice and smooth, no really deep earthy tones or lingering tannins, just a rich, clean, smooth tasty red.
I’ve had better, but paid a lot more for the privilege.
Its a pretty good red to start on actually, smooth and not acidic or laden with tannins – they actually use the grape for Rose’s and even Champagne sometimes, so that gives you some idea of the clarity of the taste.
words
Posted on August 10, 2010
been od-ing on a new iPhone game
wordswithfriends
Its like scrabble, but different in, ohh, about no ways. How they get around the copyright/patent/trademark thing, I don’t know
Anyway, we’re saddos in this house, Jay and I both have it, as do a few friends of ours too. You sign in, create a game, invite a friend and play together. Its great fun for a while, but then the same words keep coming out
QI
XU
VIM
JIN
etc.
So its refreshing when you can get a rude or suggestive word in there – scoring points becomes secondary. Best of all, the game tells you at the top what your last word was and what score it made – which is brilliant for rude words.
Like this.
There are so many more words I want to get. I had “jiggle” but couldn’t place it, I placed “tit” but really wanted “titties”
I know, puerile, but laugh out loud funny
cakes glorious cakes
Posted on August 1, 2010
This weekend was so chilled out – we had a lazy morning on Saturday, just kicking back on the sofa and chatting for a few hours, catching up on each others thoughts. I love our Saturday mornings when we get the chance to do that.
I really wanted to go take some photos on Saturday afternoon, so we saddled up and headed North to check out Scarborough Beach and have some lunch. Now Perth’s northern beach suburbs get a lot of hype about being where its all happening – all the rich folks live in giant houses overlooking the sea – whats not to like, right?
Well Scarborough was nice enough – the surf was up and hundreds of surfers were catching waves in the warm afternoon. We sat and had fish and chips and watched the surfers wipe out which was nice – but I had expected more and actually, Scarborough was a bit nothing really
There’s not that much there apart from the bloody great hotel complex – Rockingham has way more cafes and classy restaurants. So much for the millionaire’s playground then. We drove on up past Trigg, North Beach, Marmion and Sorrento and I have to say – meh! Big ugly vulgar houses, flash cars, people jogging up the footpath, only the occasional overpriced cafe and so little character to be seen anywhere.
As disappointing as the places were, we had fun just driving about.
We drove back to Fremantle to have a wander around the markets and get some decent culture and a coffee on the strip.
We found a wonderful little cupcake shop in the markets – My Yummy Vice – http://www.myyummyvice.com which had gluten free and vegan cupcakes – so we stocked up 🙂 Awesome end to the day 🙂
Best cakes ever. Well, maybe apart from the ones I made 😉
Five get a makeover (and go for a KFC)
Posted on July 26, 2010
I’ve been building up a head of steam about this all day, so you’re getting the full monty, on my soapbox, high horse, both barrels blog post.
This is about the news that the publishers of the legendary Enid Blyton stories, Hodder & Staughton, have decided that the language in the books is a little outdated and needs to be edited to bring it upto date.
So all the ‘jolly japes’, ‘golly goshes’ and ‘lashings of ginger beer’ will now be replaced with ‘fun’ ‘oh’s’ and ‘guzzled a can of coke’ (ginger is a pejorative term and is now forbidden)
Apparently, they think children will stop reading the books as they won’t be able to understand this ‘old’ language and they need to do this updating to ensure the continued success of the books into the future. They are starting with The Faraway Tree and Famous Five.
Well what utter shite. Utter utter UTTER shite.
When I read the books in the 1970’s, the words and phrases were already long gone from pouplar English and did it matter to me? No, it did not. Did it matter to Jay when she read them, even though she grew up in working class Sheffield in England’s industrial North? No, it did not.
Did it matter to Anja and Piper, who have never left the state of Western Australia, let alone been to England, when they read them in the 2000’s? No, it did not.
Did it matter to a generation of children in-between? No, it did not.
They still sell 500,000 copies a year of the Famous Five series alone and it is the number one book on loan in libraries. Hardly a book on the verge of going out of print.
So why then, is it assumed that children of the 2010’s are suddenly of such a reduced intellectual capacity that they cannot understand the phrase ‘how peculiar’ when the likes of books by AA Milne, Beatrix Potter, Roald Dahl, Dr Seuss etc haven’t been changed at all, even though the language is old and context of the stories is long gone.
So, Hodder and Staughton, you are wrong about this. Totally and utterly wrong.
It is not just about the nostalgia, or language and the capability to understand it, but also about where this leads us to. Do we need to change Shakespeare, Keats, Chaucer and Jane Austen for modern audiences too? Leave them alone, celebrate their language and their setting and the context in which they were written, they are history and should never be rewritten or we will lose the whole reference for that period in time.
Holga and Hasselblad
Posted on July 22, 2010
So, as you are aware, I got my films back – I was especially looking forward to seeing the shots from the Hasselblad, given I paid a small fortune for it and am betting the farm that it’ll produce images that will stir my creative soul. I know, not too much pressure then.
First, the Holga, which never ceases to surprise and amaze
Next, the Hasselblad – early days with this beastie, only just got hold of a lightmeter so the early films were guesswork and counting back from Sunny 16..
I think it’s safe to say that the camera has done ok 🙂
Pretty happy with those so far. I have another 2 films I’m scanning and there are some interesting shots there too.
Can’t wait to get out again and take more shots now!
Red Wine Wednesday
Posted on July 21, 2010
Yes, its that time of the week already!
Its Wednesday Wine of the Week
So, wine lovers, I have a delight for you today
A cleanskin (unbranded) wine from the Haughton Vineyard in Perth. Wine producers sometimes find they have too much wine for a given vintage and don’t want to devalue their brand by flooding the market, so sell it on unbranded at big discounts – this one was $8 (cheap) and is excellent value.
Shiraz (or Syrah outside of Australia) is a slightly spicy peppery wine with a round finish. Its quite a complex flavour, softer than a Merlot (which can be quite heavy and harsh) but a lot more full on than a Pinot Noir or a Cab Sav.
They’re sort of similar to the Riojas in some ways, rich and earthy, but with more dark purple colour, more deep dark fruit (plum, blackcurrent) and bite than a Rioja.
This particular one is excellent – its really full on, very peppery and full flavoured but still has plenty of subtle undertones.
It’s pretty much the perfect weekday wine for me 🙂
Charlie's World 