So, I haven’t done much with this blog for a while. I’m not sure what to write, what to post about – life seems to kind of be the same over and over – most of the photos I have are of me walking the dog or the house looking pretty in the sun/rain/mist.
I had a very low point at the start of the year when lockdowns and not being able to travel to England to see my family really hit hard. This is still an ongoing issue and one that doesn’t look like it’ll be resolved soon, thanks to the Australian governments ultra conservative stance on international travel, but I’m coming back to a point of simmerage rage rather than despair, so that’s nice.
Anyways, the last, 9 months or so since my last proper post haven’t been a complete disaster.
I did keep on taking photos at least, even if I haven’t blogged about them because I kinda felt like shit.
And a shout out to my best friend A, who has been there no matter what and dragged me out to get dressed up and party even when I wasn’t feeling it.
So heres’s a gallery of the things.
So there were things that happened! This is only a snapshot, a lot more fun was had but I’ll spare you the photos – feel free to click on any of the pics to see the larger better version in glorious wordpress carousel mode!
So, coming back to the blog title, apart from coming out about my mental health taking a dive for the first time in my life and not being afraid to say it (thanks Covid and the ridiculous restrictions that governments all over the world seem to be revelling in), I’ve also had time to get to grips with something I’ve felt my entire life, but just thought it was kinda wrong or shameful somehow.
And that’s that I’m some degree of gender non-binary. I loathe labels and don’t care to get too into it as it doesn’t really matter and I think there’s a tendency for people to try to over label to make themselves feel special, but the one benefit of the increased awareness and ‘outness’ these days is the amount of information available. So I can finally put a name to it (ish) and not wonder if it’s just me thats wired up weird. I’m sure that’s true too, but the fact remains that I feel, and always have felt like I am ‘a little from column A and a little from column B’ on the gender spectrum as it were. Strongly rooted in the masculine (I have a beard and a handlebar moustache for heavens sakes), straight, but also happy dancing on the feminine side, or somewhere in the middle, or kinda neither one, or actually both at the same time, more specifically.
Hard to explain it of you’ve never felt it and I don’t think it’s really a big deal, except it’s actually quite a bit big part of how I am inside. It would be a bit like hiding that you’re a singer, or a racing driver.
I’m not suddenly going to become a glitter covered trans activist (because yeah, nah) or insist on strange and impossible pronouns (sorry, fellow atypical genderists – if this makes all the difference to you, then more power to you, but it leaves me stone cold, particularly the militant way that some people have adopted regarding this and degendering language – actually this is definitely a topic for another blog post), but it’s something that’s there nonetheless and maybe there’s room to explore those areas out loud, as it were.
I’m happy wearing kilts as a nod to the alternative, and I hope I will find some other androgynous and other styles and looks that will work on a bearded middle aged man.. life’s too short and soon I’ll be old and dead!
For now – this is your kilted bearded author, signing off!