Yes, I feel like Haley Joel Osment in Sixth Sense, only with less creepy 10-year-old girls under the table with poisoned sick coming out of their mouths.

Went out this morning to get presents for Henry’s birthday for when I go back to England next week and also a few other bits and bobs and oh man, the dumb people are out in force today.

We’ve had people taking ages to pull away from traffic lights so they are the only ones to get through, morons not stopping at zebra crossings, blocking aisles in the shopping centre, driving the wrong way round car parks and people blocking roads waiting to turn into a drive through bottle shop.

All in the space of an hour.

What is wrong with you people!

1. Acceleration. It’s the right hand pedal of the two or three that you have. When the lights change, you press the pedal and go. I know this will come as a terrible shock to a lot of people, but the go part of that manoeuvre should happen within seconds of the light changing, not at some point before end of the day. Also, you have to *keep* pressing the pedal after the initial press and continue to accelerate. So many people just stop accelerating once they start going. I’ve never seen anything like it anywhere else in the world. It can take minutes to get up to the speed limit sometimes behind some cars. I know we don’t have to rush, but I’d like to get home before I have to retire.

2. Zebra crossings. You have to stop at a crossing in Oz, same as in the UK. It’s not an option like in France or Italy, it’s a mandatory thing. So, fucktard in the carpark today where the road rules still apply, almost running us and another couple on the next crossing down means you’re an arsehole. Pure and simple. I hope your knob rots off.

3. Blocking aisles. I don’t think teenagers get taught respectful behaviour any more. 5 teenage kids totally blocking one side of the narrow bit of the mall today so no one can get past. Are you not embarrassed by this? Does it not penetrate into your tiny hormonally challenged brains that there are other people who might want to get past because, wait for it – newsflash – it’s a fucking Saturday at the busy shops. And no, it’s not funny when someone tries to squeeze past.

4. Wrong way around carparks. There are big white arrows on the ground and entry or no entry signs on the end of each row. It’s not really too hard to follow these really simple instructions. Except it is for some people. If you can’t obey the simplest direction, then you need to give me your sorry excuse for a car and take the damn bus. It’s not even funny – I wonder what else they aren’t paying attention to or don’t care about on the roads?

5. Waiting to pull into a drive through. I hate drive through’s. They are a haven for fat and stupid lazy people who can’t be bothered to get off their fat arses and walk into the bottle shop (liquor store/off licence) or fast food joint and actually pick the items up for themselves. I know these places are for fat lazy stupid and thoughtless people as there were several matching just that description today just waiting in the road to turn in to the bottle shop as there was a queue. So rather than drive 10 metres, park, go in, buy the beer and walk back again, you’d rather queue in the road and inconvenience everyone. A lady was trying to pull out of her parking space, but you were in the way – but hey, you were waiting and why should you move? So she just had to wait, trapped in to her space, as did we have to wait behind you in the road. You couldn’t reverse a few feet to let her out, or even realise how much of an obstruction you were causing to everyone and park and go in on foot. Selfish, dumb jerkoff.

So yeah, moronic idiots – how these people manage to earn any kind of living is beyond me. They all have to be on welfare, they are way to mentally and socially challenged to be able to do any kind of paid work.

And now, we’re staying in until 6pm until the dumb people have all gone home.