Open letter to the lady in the Landcruiser


Open Letter Tuesday* (actually, this happened on Monday, but I’m just slack)

Dear lady in the Landcruiser parked next to me in the carpark at the kids school

To the woman in the diesel landcruiser, turn your fricking en... on Twitpic

Thank you so much for leaving your engine running for 40 minutes whilst you waited for your daughter to come out of school. I understand that when its really stinking hot, sitting in a car is not that pleasant and you might want to sit in air conditioned comfort, but as it was only 27 degrees yesterday, that was hardly necessary, I was in perfect comfort in my car with just the window open and the Fremantle Doctor (breeze) blowing in.

But here’s the problem, lady, keeping your car running means that you pump out stinky diesel fumes for me and everyone else, including the children playing tennis just feet from your exhaust pipe and that’s not a very nice thing – for you to think thats ok indicates to me that you’re pretty selfish.

However, giving you the benefit of the doubt, this is a Christian school, its not a very Christian thing to do for me to leap to conclusions so quickly, so I thought maybe you just hadn’t thought things through properly and would give a little embarrassed ‘of course, how thoughtless of me’ comment when I tapped on your window to please ask you to turn off your engine so I and the tennis playing children didn’t choke to death.

However, to blank me as if I wasn’t there was a little odd, so I figure you must be on the phone or something, so I leave it another minute, watching you to see if you were somehow occupied, but no, its obvious that you’re not. So I ask again, with a little rat tap tap on the window. I know you can hear me, its a Landcruiser, not some kind of armour plated Hummer, so why on earth do you just pretend you cant hear or see me?

So, you miserable cow, your initial thoughtless behaviour has turned to plain rude and almost unbelievable. I hope you are happy in your little bubble of ignorance. Maybe you think that a $70,000 car means you don’t have to deal with anyone so obviously less well off as I (although I don’t expect you realise that owning your car on credit is not actually owning it at all)? Maybe you’re just a stuck up cow who doesnt give a shit about anyone else.

I hope, then, Landcruiser lady, that you don’t need the assistance of anyone outside your little air conditioned bubble, because, Christian or not, you might find that people don’t give a crap.

Love and Kisses
Charlie

*with thanks to Salt, from whom I stole the open letter idea 🙂

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2 Comments on “Open letter to the lady in the Landcruiser

  1. 4-wheel drivers generally give me the shits. The inconsiderate bastards always pull right up to the white line on intersections so you can’t see past them to pull out if you are in a height challenged vehicle. I fart in their general direction!
    For some reason pensioners feel the need to buy one when they retire, but the majority can’t park the bloody things and drive everywhere at 40kph with one set of wheels on the white line.
    I trust you are not so rude when out in yours, Charlie :))

    Like

    • You just need to get an even bigger 4×4, Sue! 😉 I’m the paragon of good manners, me – always behave myself, I do!

      Like

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